CHAPTER 10 - Sharon Feiereisen
What is your best advice for other moms who have recently moved to a new city on how to adjust their families and themselves?
"My kids were born in Tel Aviv; we then moved to NYC and then to Miami. My biggest tip would be to not wait until you feel “settled” to start building your life. I’d say start small but be consistent. Go to the same coffee shop, playground, class, workout, etc over and over until faces start to feel familiar. Community usually doesn’t happen from one big moment... it happens from tiny repeated ones. Also, don’t be afraid to be the person who makes the first move. Ask another mom for coffee. Start the group chat. Invite someone to meet at the park. So many moms are craving connection, but everyone assumes everyone else already has their people. For kids we all know routine is everything. Even if the city is new, keeping a few things predictable like bedtime, weekend pancakes etc."
What would you tell your younger "new mom" self as you reflect back today?
"I don’t think I’d give my younger new-mom self much advice, because I was always genuinely happy and grateful to be a mom even in the hard moments. That’s not to say it was always easy. Of course there were meltdowns, exhaustion, overwhelming days and moments where I screamed in the shower…said things to the kids or my husband that i regretted, but I think I’ve always been able to zoom out and see the bigger picture. In the really hard moments, I try to take a step back and remind myself: health is a gift only the sick can see. I would give every last penny for someone I love not to be sick, so having everyone I love healthy means that all the things that feel stressful in the moment aren’t as bad as they feel."
"My kids are fully obsessed with this foldable Make It Cute house. And I love it because it literally took 30 seconds to put together and folds up flat when we leave the Hamptons at the end of summer. They call it their “secret clubhouse” and no one is allowed in without the password, which is currently “12345. We set it up in the basement and besides Magna-Tiles, I don’t think there’s anything that entertains them for quite as long. They bring in a rotating cast of toys, pretend food, books, stuffed animals and whatever else feels important in the moment."
"Bedtime in our house is not exactly a five-minute routine these days. Both of my kids have severe sleep apnea and are getting their tonsils removed, so winding down can take a while. Anything that helps them feel cozy, calm and excited about pretend “sleepovers” is a win in my book."
"Our pool heater is currently broken because homeownership is really just a daily surprise repair subscription, so we’ve also been using the Camper Van Float as a post camp/pre bed play space. Apparently we’re very much in our tiny hideout era. "
